Solitaire

I've played quite a bit of solitaire this week. It's been rainy the past few days and entertainment has become scarce. On Saturday night we loved the idea of rain. Rain, it seemed, was the only thing that could make the incessant dog barking stop. Monday afternoon, however, as we wrung out our clothes and hung them on the staircase, I no longer appreciated the rain. We need to be outdoors. For longer than a soggy walk around the block.

Solitaire has always been a wonderful game to me. When the rest of my family sat reading at the lake, before I caught the reading bug myself, I could play for ten, even fifteen minutes. That is an eternity in bored-kid time. Now solitaire is a way to engage my brain and wake it up, or provide my eyes a little relief from reading. I enjoy being quiet and focusing on something completely for a little while.

Solitude, on the other hand, has always been a bit trickier. I need to be around people. I feed off their energy and feel useful and included. I also am exhausted by them. I need time to recharge and be alone. I straddle the introvert-extrovert fence in a way that often confuses me and leaves me frustrated. But one thing I am not confused about: solitary travel.

I have met more than a few people over the past two weeks who love to travel alone. They enjoy exploring new places on their own and having the freedom to go where they choose. I love their passion for travel and admire their independence, but I do not count myself among them. I don't enjoy traveling alone. I find it lonely. Give my a day to myself exploring and discovering new things and I will be such a happy girl. I love walks on my own and finding out-of-the-way places and eating by myself. But an extended trip by my lonesome? No, thank you. I want to see things and point them out. I love hearing what someone else thinks about what we've seen and done. I need someone to bounce ideas off and get advice from. No, solo travel is not for me, but solo exploring most definitely can be.

My favorite thing about this trip to Nepal has been the people I've met. They are fascinating and different and weird. I love getting to know them and hearing their stories. Most of them travel on their own and meet other fascinating people along the way. At first glance, they make me feel inadequate. Why don't I love traveling by myself? Am I not independent enough? Am I, heaven forbid, needy? And then reason settles back down in my mind and I realize that I am not the only one who longs to share experiences when I travel. As Abbey so eloquently put it just a few minutes ago, I want to come home and know that someone else felt just the same as I did. It doesn't mean I'm immature or scared or needy, it means I love to travel with people. And one day I could find a place I feel so comfortable in that I want to experience it alone, and that will be a wonderful thing, but for now I'll keep my solo day trips and solitaire. And when I meet them along the way, my friends and I will buy those solo travelers a beer, or an ice cream, and welcome them into our little traveling home for the night, and listen to their wonderful stories. Traveling, in its purest form, is about the people you meet and the God you love along the way.